Life is hard, it’s not a fairytale…

I am a daughter, a wife, a mother, a professional, a friend, a volunteer. All of us wear different hats, and we very easily slip into different roles without giving it, much of a thought. I have been a daughter for 45 years, a wife for 20 years, a mother for 18 years, and I still make mistakes, almost daily.

I feel upset when I fail to connect with people who matter to me, and that is the time I start questioning my role and how I am playing it. It is the tone or choice of words or the little roll of an eye which upsets me and puts me off a discussion or breaks a connection, as I feel not valued or appreciated.

When I take time to analyze myself, I understand all of us have ego, and yes, I have learnt, but working on putting it into practice of, letting our ego sit next to us, and not get upset if we feel our values or thought is not getting appreciated. We should learn to be okay with it, as it is not for everyone else to allign their thought with mine. Yes, I am teaching myself to mind my own business and not manage others.

I do not know why but I have realized that I am not comfortable in my daughter’s company. I am scared that when both of us are together there is a ticking bomb in the room. Either one of us might upset eachother, or fail to have a conversation which we enjoy…leading to a conversation which the receiving party is not interesting in listeing.

My daughter is a very social person. She stays in touch with her friends 24X7, at least that is the impression I have, as of now. I get a feeling that she does not spend alone time with herself processing her feelings, and because of which she get’s effected with other people’s opinions about her. Last weekend, she wasted three days crying out loud and staying in her bed upset, because of something her freind had said about her.

As a mother I want to teach her the discipline of being regular in the areas, she wants to grow. Unfortunately, I have not seen that in her. As she is different from me and I want to give her the independence of figuring herself out her way. I drift away from her, as I feel she and I are on different trains, which is running parallelly.

Let’s see where our life takes us…

#Something which is hard for me and I forced myself to do today.

Decide to write a blog and open up about myself.

#Which podcast inspired me.

# What increased my energy today.

My daughter coming down to speak with me and connect after we had an argument today.

#I love photography and I believe in capturing moments…I may not have the correct lighting, but it definitely captured a memory for me.